Steered Straight
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Childhelp

Hello! I wanted to share my story with drug abuse. Not me but my mother, your mom. The one you are supposed to be raised by, the one who you are supposed to trust. Sometimes it’s not like that, sometimes we don’t get the happy things we want and that’s hard, my mother was off and on drugs since she was 15 which is how old I am now. Drug addiction has run through my family like a virus. Watching the people you love hurt like that is a different type of pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Growing up with someone like that makes it very hard, you feel as if they don’t love you, and sometimes you start to blame yourself, and that’s when things get bad. When you blame yourself, you put this burden on you and it’s such a heavy thing to carry. Every day starts to turn to a rainy day until you feel as if there will never be another happy day. The hard thing with addicts is that most of the time they don’t want help. Me watching her go through what she did as a kid and still now hurts and I feel as if a lot of it was because I couldn’t help. The days blended together, always wondering if she was okay and if she was telling me she was okay, was she lying to me?

I lived in one place for so long and then I moved 2 states away from my mother, the worry kicked up more than ever. It was hard not seeing her but maybe she enjoyed it. Growing up with an addict in your life makes your walls go up, it was hard for me to form good relationships with people and still is. The drug addiction problem is always getting worse. Friends hurting their loved ones and parents hurting their own children. It’s getting worse and people have to understand that they need to listen to these people having their lives ruined by it. Drug addiction is not a joke. Having to worry about my mother at 15 is a scary thing. I love her more than anything. The kids that sit there and laugh are the kids who haven’t felt what it is like to lose someone to drugs, and I hope they won’t have too. Even though my mother isn’t dead it feels like she is, she is here physically but not mentally, and all I want is a mother. That is why I hope that soon people will wake up and understand drugs are not something to joke around about. Whenever I feel down, I just remember, it is not my fault. And to anybody who reads this, it is not your fault either and that doesn’t have to be you, everyone has a purpose sometimes we just have to find it.

~River